Blissful Summer

(* read my rant at the the bottom of my post....yarg I am not a techie!)

We've been having a great time with the kids the last few weeks. Our routine is unfolding and things are meshing. The only time that I am struggling with timing is naptime for the boys. Arlo is outgrowing naps, but still really benefits from them. He has a hard time laying down if Tirfe is up, and keeps Aesa up if they lay together, but needs my attention 100% of the time after 3pm if he doesn't rest a little. So I either end up with two tired, napless boys, and a tiny break for myself (with the added bonus of their room somehow getting extremely messy while they are "napping"), or one boy who naps and one boy who asks me "what do you think we should do right now?" a dozen times while I try to take a shower or anything else I need to accomplish. Each day is a little different. I am trying to look at the bright side, everything seems to work out in the end, tired, rested, whatever. It is a bit of a juggling act though. All of this has been going on long before Tirfe came home, they will outgrow it one day.

Tirfe is doing really well. She has mastered sitting up now, it is awesome, I love that she can engage in her world from a new vantage point and have so much more control over her activities. I love the sitting baby stage. She is so proud. Her list of accomplishments this week also include waving bye-bye, clapping (personal favorite), and high fives. We are pretty sure she will be crawling soon. She is really close, loves to rock on her hands and knees, panting and squeeling (adorable).

Arlo and Aesa are still enjoying her a ton. They love it when she "talks" to them, they are thrilled if she laughs at them. So far the only jealousy I have seen has been from Arlo when Tirfe was so busy laughing at Aesa that she didn't see the cool moves Arlo was doing, he was a little heartbroken over it. This was one of the days he did not nap. His mood swing led to a break in the bedroom which was followed by an hour and a half accidental (on his part) nap that totally restored his more pleasant demenor. It worked for me.

Arlo loves to be a part of everything Tirfe is doing. He picks out her clothes in the morning, usually some beautiful dress like one of her traditional Ethiopian dresses that is two sizes too big right now. He even tried on her green one that is bigger, hilarious. He has to give her zerberts on her belly while I hang her upside down before she can lay down for naps or the night. Tirfe thouroughly enjoys it, almost all the time. It is so fun watching their bonds grow and solidify, so amazing and rewarding.

Last night we went to a concert in the park. It was a tad loud, but Tirfe held out for quite a while. They boys were much less interested than she was. They found a pile of sandy soil and filled their hats over and over and over so they could make a pile. Whatever keeps them busy. Aesa played with a stick in the sand next to the sidewalk for at least a half-hour. If he'd had a hose we'd have been set for the evening.

(*i type and type and type whilst I have a minute or two to myself, due to tv induced catotonics or actual sleeep (ha!) at naptime, and then I am left with a post that is not only discombobulated, but unpleasantly paragraphed and all bunched and mushed in the picture category. SO, I say, to myself. I will post shorter, more frequent, less pictified entries. It is the only solution. I will really try. Maybe i can hit my stride and stop trying to post at either naptime or in the middle of the night. hehehe. We'll see.) For now, I appologize for the weird layout.

Arlo's Million Dollar Question

This week Arlo asked me a question that really has no decent answer for a child. I don't want to scare him out of his mind.



"Mom? Why do grown-ups have guns?" (He has been thinking a lot about an armored car we saw while shopping one day. He noticed the guy carrying the money had a gun. I think he was under the impression only cops have guns.)



Oh man buddy. Next question.



"Do they ever shoot kids?"



Answer: Absolutely not.



He is not convinced. I figure it is only a matter of time before he has evidence of my lie. Although we don't watch the news, so maybe it will take a little while for him to stumble onto the horrifying truth.



We have chatted about the shape of bullets, and if they are sharp. I didn't sugar coat the reality of guns and how they work, wouldn't want him to be naiive should he ever cross paths with a gun that is not properly stored away at someone's house. He,s wondering if it hurts to get the bullets taken out of you. For now, he's satisfied- but he is still pondering this one- he asks related questions daily (well, does it hurt to get shot by a cannon? but the balls are round! but I'm really strong!).



Can't he ask me some questions about Dora or Handy Manny or something?

Best Friends and Worst Enemies

Spurred by the dirty look I got from the lady working at the gap today, I thought I would hash this out a bit. She was watching the boys play with some toys that they have on annoyingly low displays and questioned to me:

'They are close in age, aren't they?'

My reply, 'Yep, 16 months apart.'

She said with a smile and a nod, 'are they best buddies?'

And my reply was totally honest and nothing shameful when I said, 'and worst enemies.'

But she gave me this oh-what-a-shame-you-must-be-an-unfit-mother look (OK, maybe it was just a quick flash in her eyes, but it was there, I am certain).

Anyways it got me thinking about their relationship. They love each other tremendously and tell one another at random times when they are playing. If one of them gets hurt, the other runs to the freezer for an ice pack. If they are apart, Aesa must ask where Arlo is every 3 minutes until they are reunited. They count on each other to spur creativity and fight imaginary monsters. They enjoy the same games. They look out for each other, like the time Aesa told me to 'be nice to Arlo' when he was getting reprimanded for something I can't remember. A couple of days ago, Arlo said to me, 'I sure am lucky to have a little brother like Aesa.' They hug and kiss before bed at night. They have a very unique and intense bond that I am privileged to witness as they grow up together.

AND... they are brothers who are 16 months apart. They compete all day every day without even intending to. Lately, they can't keep their hands off each other whenever I walk out of the room for more than 3 seconds. They smash into each other, pinch, poke, pull hair. It is totally reciprocal, each dishes and each is served. They constantly want the toy the other one is playing with, and rarely does a minute pass in my house when someone isn't waiting for someone else's toy. We dole out turns in minutes, which leads to some pretty hefty flailing by the child who has to wait 3 minutes for their turn with the magnet that the other child pulled off the fridge and is using to push marbles across the floor, 'a whole three minutes?! That will take like an hour (arms flailing, body crumbling, tears flowing)'. It seems intense, and it is, but it totally makes sense if you look at it through their eyes. To them it is just life, normalcy, nothing less nothing more. They ebb and flow between best friends and worst enemies about 22 trillion times a day. I think it will enable them to deal with life in a healthier way, to negotiate relationships in a complex and developed manner. It is hard for them sometimes, but they are learning golden nuggets of information from each other, and what they learn now in a healthy and safe way, they will be spared from learning later in life when it is much much harder.

Maybe instead of saying best friends and worst enemies next time, I should say best friends and best enemies.