settled

We are settled back in from our trip to the North Shore. We had rain and ice and ice-rain for three days straight. We were protected in our little cabin right on the shore of the lake, ice covered everything and we could not venture out (although Andy did have to make a run to the store for some food, we weren't really planning on eating at the cabin too much!) It was fun. We had some old VHS movies, one was The Land Before Time, we watched it too many times to count. We made dozens of paper airplanes. The boys enjoyed bathing with a strainer and some soup ladles for toys. I read The Caged Virgin cover to cover. I really don't know what we did all weekend. Aesa played "I'm Aesa Robot" a bunch, marching around, one arm swinging mechanically, repeating that phrase over and over. We had fun. It was OK to be close, connected, contained for a weekend. The lake was amazing to watch. The ice flowing in and out by morning and night. The beauty and raw power of nature. Arlo only got to throw a few rocks, which he handled quite well (he is a rock throwing superstar at the lake). We'll be back, In August for sure, hopefully with our little sweetie in our arms as well.

Since our referral for T, we are settling in and regaining composure. Life seems less like a play we are actors in. I am impressed with the way our minds slowly let enormous events sink in. Imagine if we realized everything in its entirity the moment that we were presented with life changing information. We might be unable to function, incapacitated by the impact of our emotions. The slow, surreal revealing of the depth and meaning of events in life keep us functioning in some way while our body mind spirit have time to engage with the morsels of change slowly and intimately. What a beautiful journey we have embarked upon. I feel unworthy, overblessed, humbled, amazed. I feel peace and turmoil. I feel like a mother and a wife, and a human being. I'm not making tons of sense, but I think you all know what I mean. Reflecting on this journey is so very, very amazing. And the best is yet to come.