Here. We are.

Arlo is a kindergartener. Crazy to imagine he is so big and so little all at once. He has such an old soul, full of insight and torment, it's crazy that he's only 5!!

He likes school so far. Except for the part where Aesa gets to stay home (with Tirfe- gasp) and play all day. Aesa will be going to afternoon preschool three days a week starting soon. His teacher is nice, but a bit conventional. I was just ready to cash in all the santa stories and that buisiness once and for all. I'm sick of the neverending upping of the story to satisfy the curious mind of the child. I want them to believe magic and wonderment are real, and not have that all crash down one day when I have to fess up. BUT, Santa comes to Arlo's class this year- really- I was so surprised!! I can't believe that is even acceptable... He also learned this rhyme today to remember how to draw a "7" ... across the sky and down from heaven, that is how you make a seven... I know, super innocuous, but still- really confusing for some kids (like mine) who's family's have a less than conventional attitude toward religion. Oh well. It's not really a BIG deal to me, but it is a tiny deal to throw on the pile of other tiny deals. Makes me yearn for bigger city life where more diversity might mean more understanding of the varied values of the people who make up the community.

Anyhoo. Everything else is grooving along, we are well, the chickens are still adorable, I want a puppy, the kids are full of energy and beauty- the normal I guess.

Bedtime

This was bedtime a few nights ago. Arlo likes to read T a story in her crib before he hops out and she goes to sleep. It's becoming a bit of a thing around here. Of course, Aesa wants in on it too. What follows is some major cuteness, major bedtime routine derailing, and major photo opps. Who am I to stifle free love and creativity?

Pictures worth a thousand words (to make up for months of no blogging!!)

I've been a very bad blogger.

I have no excuses. Except Spring is here and Summer is on its way and so far I am enjoying every second. For the first time in five years I have a real garden. For the first time ever we have chickens! Spring, so far, has been abundant. The kids are busy digging holes all over the yard, filling them with water for ultimate fun.

Our amazing neighbors, who also gifted us our playset, recently passed their trampoline on to us. Arlo waited almost five seconds before he decided jumping is much more fun if there is a hose blasting him with icy water. The temperature outside doesn't seem to matter, today he was out there with Aesa and a friend jumping in chilly, rainy weather. Ahhh, boys (...ummm, I guess that's not entirely true because Tirfe wanted to get on so badly and I wouldn't let her. Figured the three squirrely wild boys were working hard enough not to crush eachother let alone a babe.).

Life is good in general, the kids are wonderful, challenging, adorable, and funny. I am thrilled to be out in the garden, while my kids play and entertain themselves with whatever projects they have going in the yard. Arlo is so good with Tirfe, helping her, guiding her, protecting her- he loves his role as her big bro. He and I have a running joke that he tells me 'Tirfe is the best baby ever' at least 8 times every day. He is so patient with her- it is really beautiful. It also models for Aesa how not to be annoyed by the sometimes challenging behavior of the toddleress.

We've been having bonfires often after Tirfe goes to bed at night. It's crazy how big the boys are getting. I am really hoping that they find their groove and enjoy all sorts of random free time together this summer. My favorite sounds in the world are those of my children genuinely enjoying being together, it is magical.

Here's to abundance in your home this Spring too.

thinking 'out loud'

Thinking, thinking, sorting, sorting, and trying to make some sense of everything and anything. Thinking a bunch lately about the power and companionship of words, of the peaceful way my soul settles when I run across a word, new to me, that somehow makes sense of some complicated thought or feeling I'd been kicking around. The way, in that instant, that I feel understood, surrounded by love, and the realization that human beings have been experiencing feelings and thoughts so similar to mine for so long that they have actually created a word that takes all those mucky loosed ends at the intersection of emotion, experience, and thought and perfectly bundles them in a word that transcends time and all other limitations of our existence. It's great really, liberating and reassuring. It also makes me acutely aware of how limited my experiences on this earth are, and will be, no matter how much I learn and retain and put to use. But, that's O.K., I'm reassured because it's not my job, I've decided, to know everything, it is just my job to be conscientious and act with compassion and understanding to the best of my ability. I am not the whole human experience in one life, but I am an important link in the chain.

I guess it is a realization that I can't do or be it all. I've never really struggled with this concept until I became a mother. I am sure others' can relate. I have always been very confident in my capabilities and accomplishments in my life, even in areas where I could have done 'better' or achieved 'more'. I've been O.K. with what I gave when I gave it, knowing that I could always do it different in the future. I am not a person to have many regrets, I mess up all the time, but I always learn and grow. But parenting puts so much more heat on. It's also about perspective. I realize now, how very little I know compared to what I want to know and what there is to know in this life. It is daunting. Wish I could funnel it all to me and swim in the seas of collective wisdom. But then, I guess, I would be done learning, and what fun would that be?

I don't have a nifty ending to this post, I'm not done thinking about it yet. I am pretty sure this is one of the cornerstones of my existence, this thinking, twisting and sorting- this constant state of growth and maturation. It sure would be nice if there was some destination, enlightenment, when I would sense that I know enough. Sometimes it would feel really good to just unplug mentally and coast the rest of the way. Not a chance though, not with these three counting on me.

snapshots

Vanity review and new ambition

Read my own blog tonight, it left EVEN ME wanting more. Seriously, posting once, maybe twice a month doesn't qualify as readable. I am working on a plan to blog more. Either that or I have to hang up my blog hat, and I'd like to give the former a shot first. I mean, seriously I take about 200 pictures of the kids a week, you'd think it would be easier to get one or two on the blog every now and then. I have many many many many reasons (er excuses) why I don't. Some have to do with my crappy luck posting, so often distracted, so often discombobulated, so often thwarted by technology... So a plan is in the making. I could shoot for posting once a week, right? I'm thinking about it, and we'll see what happens.

T started to walk on Christmas Eve. It was great. Now it is her favorite thing to do when she's awake. She crams whatever she can hold into her little hands and runs all over the house happy as can be! This new talent, along with her budding independence, have facilitated her in finding her voice when necessary (ehem...in a very loud, arch her back and roll on the floor sort of way at times!!) It's great. I love to see her letting us all know how she is feeling. Even if she can't play in the toilet while I wipe a boy's bottom, it is great to know that she is vocalizing her desires!

The boys continue to do great. They are growing so fast. Arlo is already getting a permanent molar- he's pretty thrilled about it. He calls it his 'ham eating tooth' - as in, he will start eating ham as soon as that tooth is all the way in. He doesn't want to eat ham just yet, but is sure he will once he has his grown up tooth to do the job. He's also considering pushing all of his other food he eats over to that tooth to chew since it is bound to be the strongest. No more chewing with those pesky baby teeth for him. Arlo told me today that he is showing his new tooth at 'show and tell' tomorrow at school. He cleared it with his teacher today, but had to let her know he won't be able to put it on the show and tell tray in the morning, seeing as it's in his mouth and all. I really can't wait to hear how that goes! Last weekend we went swimming at a local pool, and when we were done, Arlo's feet were seriously pruned up and hivey. I asked him if it hurt or if he knew how it happened. He told me it was no big deal, he was just growing in his permanent foot. I left it at that, since his weird hives had me kind of freaked out too.

Aesa had us on pins and needles the last few weeks with some mysterious night time symptoms that were accompanying his cold. Severe itching and aching all over his body. He was up all night scratching franticly in his ears, on his legs, hands, and belly- and complaining of pain all over. No fever though, so it was strange. He's doing great now, thank goodness. Today, we were driving and went around a 'circular' on-ramp to the interstate when Aesa said, "Mom, did you just drive in a circle?" I said yes, but was quickly corrected and taught that "that was not a circle. Circles go around around around. THAT was a banana, see mom. A banana. Not an apple, apples are cirlces and they are red. Circles are red mom, not bananas. OKAY?" O.K.

We had a great Christmas and New Year, Aesa made it to 1am on New Year's Eve!! Woo hoo. You could tell on New Year's Day, he was sporting some large bags under his sweet eyes. Hope you all had a great Holiday Season as well. Happy January to you all as well, heaven knows we could all use some extra cheering up this dark, cold month!!

Meeting Solomon- Ethiopian Travel Stories

I want to share so many of our amazing experiences, yet I have struggled for a way to share without cheapening the experience. Sometimes, my lack of writing skills as well as linguistic knowledge leave me writing posts that barely reflect my hearts desire. It is a challenge for me, but when I look back, I am always happy to have shared the moment, rather than worried about the syntax. So, in that regard, I will continue to share some of our unique experiences so that others may enjoy them and we might remember them in years to come!

On our way home from Ethiopia with Tirfe, we flew first to Karthoum and then to Amsterdam before heading across the big lake towards home. We left Ethiopia in the late evening, I think around 10pm or so. I was already enjoying some cocktails. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I have a wee (enormous) fear/challenge of/with flying. I am working on it. I continue to do it. I really don't like it. Maybe one day I will, but for now cocktails help with the preflight anxiety. Sooo.... we flew into Amsterdam 8 or 9 hours after leaving Addis, the trip was smooth, I slept through the landing in Sudan (imagine that, cocktails plus jet lag plus sheer exhaustion and you can sleep through a landing- I just might be on to something!!) We had a four hour layover in Amsterdam before boarding our next flight. We say goodbye to the last of our travel group as they catch their planes to their homes in States.

We waited to board our flight for a while. I have no idea what time it was in Addis/Amsterdam/River Falls during any of this time. Doesn't matter anyways, we know we are tired, we know we are experiencing a tiny minutia of what our baby girl is experiencing. Peanuts in reality to her experiences in the last 8 months of her life. She is beauty. She is peace and calm. She is snuggles and thumb sucking. She is helping me to find my center, to face my (irrational) fear more resolutely.

Point of this post, in line waiting for our things to be scanned or something to be checked or something or whatever (remember I have a mind numbing fear of flying) we have an interesting exchange with a "stranger". This man, in line in front of us, looks at Tirfe and says, "She is from my tribe." with a smile. We are all grins, walking with him toward the plane. Really? we say? He says, "Yes, definitely. She is Tembarissa." Wow. We ask where he is from. He is from Mudula, the town of Tirfe's birth. We make some more small talk as we board the plane, acutely aware of what a small world it is. Amazed by the chance to meet this man, this Ethiopian man, from Tirfe's hometown, who gives her blessings and kisses. Meeting him, in Amsterdam, in line, boarding our plane, seemed so serendipitous. We didn't see him until we were in MPLS again. We said our goodbyes and headed on our way.

His name was Solomon. He was a soldier in Iraq, headed home on leave. His home was in Canada. I loved the way his eyes sparkled at Tirfe as he talked about Mudula. I loved that he embraced her just because he knew they shared these bonds.

Weeks after we were home and settled, we met a family from our travel group at our favorite Ethiopian restaurant in the cities. After lunch, we headed to the Ethiopian Market to buy some injera and some spices. We paused and chatted. We took pictures and began to hug goodbye, when Andy waved to someone across the street. It took me a minute to realize what was going on. It took Andy a minute to realize who he was waving to, even though he knew he knew him. It was Solomon. Our friend from the Amsterdam airport. He was on vacation, from Canada, in Minneapolis with his family. He had just finished eating at the restaurant we were eating at. He recognized us because he remembered Tirfe. He remembered her because she was from his tribe, his people.

How does that happen. I think it happens for a reason, and we are meant to take from it what we will. But I don't think it is the last time Solomon and his family will be in our lives.