Nap time

What do you do when your house is quiet. I contemplate grand plans constantly, when it is not nap time, of what I will get done during said time. I dream big, imagine myself as some sort of inspiration driven superpower who can get anything done with the right tune in my head and hop in my step. Sometimes I do get it done (especially if all I was dreaming of was the dishes!!) and other times I get sidetracked- like today. Today I decided to take the opportunity to burn all the board games that were missing way too many pieces- such a load off. The closets are cleaner and the kids are none the wiser. Plus, having a solo bonfire was sort of divine. After that, I watered and fed The Ladies (a.k.a. chickens) and let them out to roam around a bit. I have to say I love the company of chickens, which just might qualify me as a certifiably crazy chicken lady- I figure I'm in good company. I also busted up an old deer feeder in the woods and burned it along with some cute wooden chairs from the deck that didn't withstand the elements this summer like I'd hoped they would. Somehow, cleaning things out of my life right now is really cathartic- and it's great because it motivates me to get done what I've wanted to do for a while now. After I stocked the fire with all the burnables, I turned to my old, dilapidated, rusted, wobbly, splinter machine of a wheelbarrow and decided it could use a little upgrade. Who wants to haul wood in a tiny, rusty, sad contraption? Not I! I found some cans of spray paint in the garage and went to it. It was a huge diversion, but it was fun and fun and fun and even though my wheelbarrow isn't all that much prettier than it started, I kinda love it!

November

I can't really promise that I'll blog every day of Nablopomo (or whatever it is...) but I did feel a hint of inspiration when I realized that it was here again. I'm not going to try to be cool and have some sort of theme or goal, but I am going to try to capture our month in snippets. I have to be honest though, inspiration can be crushed in a hurry when life gets a bit crazy around here- but lately things have been grooving along smoothly. I also think we are used to managing way too much stress over here- so much that I don't realize when things have become near insane- I have great skills in dissociation- or maybe delusion.

I've still not found my camera, so still devoid of current pictures, but I'm thinking it really has to turn up soon. Right?

I could post a couple old pictures just so you're eyes are happy. Let's see what I can find...

Aw, that's better. These are all over a year old, but still just as cute.

Maybe I'll do this "month" as a walk through our days sort of like a who's who of the L'Allier daily wanderings....

Who's got Pertussis? We do!

All bragging aside, this sucks. People either embrace you (and befriend you) because they feel bad for you or avoid you (even looking you in the eye!!) because they fear you- either way it's not as glamorous as it sounds. Especially when you get to talk with the county for 1.5 hours about it tonight and she promises to call you back tomorrow to ask "more questions". Apparently, we could not cover it all in that amount of time. We are not contagious and we've all been taking antibiotics to protect those around us, but still- it is a bit of a trip.

Bottom line, aside from frustration on my part, is that if you've seen us since mid-September and you have a cough- GO GET A WHOOPING COUGH test. When I told the nurse that our list of contacts from the last month would be about 50 people long, she said, "WHAT REALLY? OH MY!!" And I was thinking to myself, that was conservative- it's been a month after all.

Beyond all this though, which is just one of those random things you don't anticipate and deal with regardless, life is good. Promising pictures soon :)

Here. We are.

Arlo is a kindergartener. Crazy to imagine he is so big and so little all at once. He has such an old soul, full of insight and torment, it's crazy that he's only 5!!

He likes school so far. Except for the part where Aesa gets to stay home (with Tirfe- gasp) and play all day. Aesa will be going to afternoon preschool three days a week starting soon. His teacher is nice, but a bit conventional. I was just ready to cash in all the santa stories and that buisiness once and for all. I'm sick of the neverending upping of the story to satisfy the curious mind of the child. I want them to believe magic and wonderment are real, and not have that all crash down one day when I have to fess up. BUT, Santa comes to Arlo's class this year- really- I was so surprised!! I can't believe that is even acceptable... He also learned this rhyme today to remember how to draw a "7" ... across the sky and down from heaven, that is how you make a seven... I know, super innocuous, but still- really confusing for some kids (like mine) who's family's have a less than conventional attitude toward religion. Oh well. It's not really a BIG deal to me, but it is a tiny deal to throw on the pile of other tiny deals. Makes me yearn for bigger city life where more diversity might mean more understanding of the varied values of the people who make up the community.

Anyhoo. Everything else is grooving along, we are well, the chickens are still adorable, I want a puppy, the kids are full of energy and beauty- the normal I guess.

Bedtime

This was bedtime a few nights ago. Arlo likes to read T a story in her crib before he hops out and she goes to sleep. It's becoming a bit of a thing around here. Of course, Aesa wants in on it too. What follows is some major cuteness, major bedtime routine derailing, and major photo opps. Who am I to stifle free love and creativity?

Pictures worth a thousand words (to make up for months of no blogging!!)

I've been a very bad blogger.

I have no excuses. Except Spring is here and Summer is on its way and so far I am enjoying every second. For the first time in five years I have a real garden. For the first time ever we have chickens! Spring, so far, has been abundant. The kids are busy digging holes all over the yard, filling them with water for ultimate fun.

Our amazing neighbors, who also gifted us our playset, recently passed their trampoline on to us. Arlo waited almost five seconds before he decided jumping is much more fun if there is a hose blasting him with icy water. The temperature outside doesn't seem to matter, today he was out there with Aesa and a friend jumping in chilly, rainy weather. Ahhh, boys (...ummm, I guess that's not entirely true because Tirfe wanted to get on so badly and I wouldn't let her. Figured the three squirrely wild boys were working hard enough not to crush eachother let alone a babe.).

Life is good in general, the kids are wonderful, challenging, adorable, and funny. I am thrilled to be out in the garden, while my kids play and entertain themselves with whatever projects they have going in the yard. Arlo is so good with Tirfe, helping her, guiding her, protecting her- he loves his role as her big bro. He and I have a running joke that he tells me 'Tirfe is the best baby ever' at least 8 times every day. He is so patient with her- it is really beautiful. It also models for Aesa how not to be annoyed by the sometimes challenging behavior of the toddleress.

We've been having bonfires often after Tirfe goes to bed at night. It's crazy how big the boys are getting. I am really hoping that they find their groove and enjoy all sorts of random free time together this summer. My favorite sounds in the world are those of my children genuinely enjoying being together, it is magical.

Here's to abundance in your home this Spring too.

thinking 'out loud'

Thinking, thinking, sorting, sorting, and trying to make some sense of everything and anything. Thinking a bunch lately about the power and companionship of words, of the peaceful way my soul settles when I run across a word, new to me, that somehow makes sense of some complicated thought or feeling I'd been kicking around. The way, in that instant, that I feel understood, surrounded by love, and the realization that human beings have been experiencing feelings and thoughts so similar to mine for so long that they have actually created a word that takes all those mucky loosed ends at the intersection of emotion, experience, and thought and perfectly bundles them in a word that transcends time and all other limitations of our existence. It's great really, liberating and reassuring. It also makes me acutely aware of how limited my experiences on this earth are, and will be, no matter how much I learn and retain and put to use. But, that's O.K., I'm reassured because it's not my job, I've decided, to know everything, it is just my job to be conscientious and act with compassion and understanding to the best of my ability. I am not the whole human experience in one life, but I am an important link in the chain.

I guess it is a realization that I can't do or be it all. I've never really struggled with this concept until I became a mother. I am sure others' can relate. I have always been very confident in my capabilities and accomplishments in my life, even in areas where I could have done 'better' or achieved 'more'. I've been O.K. with what I gave when I gave it, knowing that I could always do it different in the future. I am not a person to have many regrets, I mess up all the time, but I always learn and grow. But parenting puts so much more heat on. It's also about perspective. I realize now, how very little I know compared to what I want to know and what there is to know in this life. It is daunting. Wish I could funnel it all to me and swim in the seas of collective wisdom. But then, I guess, I would be done learning, and what fun would that be?

I don't have a nifty ending to this post, I'm not done thinking about it yet. I am pretty sure this is one of the cornerstones of my existence, this thinking, twisting and sorting- this constant state of growth and maturation. It sure would be nice if there was some destination, enlightenment, when I would sense that I know enough. Sometimes it would feel really good to just unplug mentally and coast the rest of the way. Not a chance though, not with these three counting on me.