I want to share so many of our amazing experiences, yet I have struggled for a way to share without cheapening the experience. Sometimes, my lack of writing skills as well as linguistic knowledge leave me writing posts that barely reflect my hearts desire. It is a challenge for me, but when I look back, I am always happy to have shared the moment, rather than worried about the syntax. So, in that regard, I will continue to share some of our unique experiences so that others may enjoy them and we might remember them in years to come!
On our way home from Ethiopia with Tirfe, we flew first to Karthoum and then to Amsterdam before heading across the big lake towards home. We left Ethiopia in the late evening, I think around 10pm or so. I was already enjoying some cocktails. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I have a wee (enormous) fear/challenge of/with flying. I am working on it. I continue to do it. I really don't like it. Maybe one day I will, but for now cocktails help with the preflight anxiety. Sooo.... we flew into Amsterdam 8 or 9 hours after leaving Addis, the trip was smooth, I slept through the landing in Sudan (imagine that, cocktails plus jet lag plus sheer exhaustion and you can sleep through a landing- I just might be on to something!!) We had a four hour layover in Amsterdam before boarding our next flight. We say goodbye to the last of our travel group as they catch their planes to their homes in States.
We waited to board our flight for a while. I have no idea what time it was in Addis/Amsterdam/River Falls during any of this time. Doesn't matter anyways, we know we are tired, we know we are experiencing a tiny minutia of what our baby girl is experiencing. Peanuts in reality to her experiences in the last 8 months of her life. She is beauty. She is peace and calm. She is snuggles and thumb sucking. She is helping me to find my center, to face my (irrational) fear more resolutely.
Point of this post, in line waiting for our things to be scanned or something to be checked or something or whatever (remember I have a mind numbing fear of flying) we have an interesting exchange with a "stranger". This man, in line in front of us, looks at Tirfe and says, "She is from my tribe." with a smile. We are all grins, walking with him toward the plane. Really? we say? He says, "Yes, definitely. She is Tembarissa." Wow. We ask where he is from. He is from Mudula, the town of Tirfe's birth. We make some more small talk as we board the plane, acutely aware of what a small world it is. Amazed by the chance to meet this man, this Ethiopian man, from Tirfe's hometown, who gives her blessings and kisses. Meeting him, in Amsterdam, in line, boarding our plane, seemed so serendipitous. We didn't see him until we were in MPLS again. We said our goodbyes and headed on our way.
His name was Solomon. He was a soldier in Iraq, headed home on leave. His home was in Canada. I loved the way his eyes sparkled at Tirfe as he talked about Mudula. I loved that he embraced her just because he knew they shared these bonds.
Weeks after we were home and settled, we met a family from our travel group at our favorite Ethiopian restaurant in the cities. After lunch, we headed to the Ethiopian Market to buy some injera and some spices. We paused and chatted. We took pictures and began to hug goodbye, when Andy waved to someone across the street. It took me a minute to realize what was going on. It took Andy a minute to realize who he was waving to, even though he knew he knew him. It was Solomon. Our friend from the Amsterdam airport. He was on vacation, from Canada, in Minneapolis with his family. He had just finished eating at the restaurant we were eating at. He recognized us because he remembered Tirfe. He remembered her because she was from his tribe, his people.
How does that happen. I think it happens for a reason, and we are meant to take from it what we will. But I don't think it is the last time Solomon and his family will be in our lives.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
All in a days time
Days fire past me in rapid pace, sometimes I feel like I, alone, am working in slow motion, while life around me bolts along at neck-breaking speeds. I regularly imagine myself walking through molasses, working really hard...just not getting there as fast as I should. Such is life.
Recap of the day, Arlo slept in our bed, requiring me to take him to school this morning (which is usually Andy's job, since he drives right past it at exactly the right time on his way to work....). The boy needs me so fiercely.
Since I was heading out, 25 minutes after rousing, thought it would be a fantastic idea to gather the other two (wake, change, debooger, comb, etc. oh and feed...) and head to the early class at the YMCA this morning. Might as well get my workout in early, imagine how productive I could be after that (SUPERmom-- who never seems to materialize.....)!!
In disbelief that I didn't get a dirty diaper call until I was in the locker room naked, I gleefully dressed half-arsedly and picked up my (stinky-Tirfe, woeful-Aesa) kiddies. Headed to lunch at a bagel shop before our next outing.
Dragging uber-tired Tirfe along in a very tight and nearly abusive snowsuit, we joined Arlo at school (as promised in the wee hours of the morning when I was trying to weasle a couple more minutes of sleep out of him) for recess. It was really, really, really cold. Holy smokes, I am so not ready for whipping winds and cold. WHY do I do this to myself. I imagine it has to do with being insane. Has to. And if it does, I might as well own it and act proud of my nordic roots. Yargh. It was cold. Arlo had a hard time with the older boys who wouldn't share shovels. It's really hard to be the little guy sometimes. Lessons aplenty, but some tough knocks for a dude with only 5 years of experience.
Frozen, we head home after recess to atempt naps. No body bites. Rascals.
Back to get Arlo at 3pm, we head to Nana's to lay Tirfe down for a nap while Aesa plays and Arlo and I run some errands. Errands turn into dinner out together. Super chill, really relaxing. We are in one of our favorite restaraunts, seated right in front of the chef. The entire kitchen is open, Arlo is mesmerized. He tells the the chef is cool. He wants to work there, washing dishes for now, until he is old enough to cook with fire. He follows the chef into the bathroom and manages to order more pasta for himself while he is in there. They revel in their shared love of Bob Marley. Arlo wants to be a chef when he grows up. Hopefully the partner of the chef who served us tonight.
We head to Nana's to pick up the wee-est ones and spend a bit of play time. Aesa is a tired mess. Arlo is coming unraveled. Balloons are blown up and we manage to piece together a decent amount of fun time. Until Aesa bites it trying to run for a balloon and spits his chin on the coffee table. Poor dude.
I start loading kids (Andy is at sweat all night on Fridays...and has Tai Chi on Thursdays until late, so we are pretty frazzeled at the end of the week) littlest to biggest. Arlo bucks departure, as sometimes happens. He is not the master of transitions, not yet. After a couple extra chances to jump off the steps and show off his moves, he still protests leaving, and of course I trudge on, explaining why. He is upset, mad, defiant. He wants a new mom. Not a new Dad though. I can marry someone else, live with them and have new kids. He's staying put with Dad. This boy, who needs me so fiercely, my emotional, passonite little man- pushes me farthest when he needs me the most. His behavior towards me reflects very accurately his personal struggles, right now mostly from school. It's hard to learn how to fend for yourself and to hold all those feelings inside when you want to yell that no one is sharing. It is hard for a passonite, emotional child to balance the desire to fit in with the desire to be heard. I told him his new mom might make him eat vegetables, but he's pretty sure she won't. Hopefully tomorrow will be more 'Don't Worry 'bout a thing' and less of the rest. We'll see. Parenting this boy is such a blessing. I just hope that his teen years won't equate to his preschool years to the tenth power. please?
Oh, in the action at some point Arlo did moon me and Aesa. Really. Mooned us, appropriately (not to say it is appropriate, but his timing and execution were precise!!). He says he learned it on a cartoon. Really? Sometimes you just have to laugh, when your children are not looking... Uff da.
Recap of the day, Arlo slept in our bed, requiring me to take him to school this morning (which is usually Andy's job, since he drives right past it at exactly the right time on his way to work....). The boy needs me so fiercely.
Since I was heading out, 25 minutes after rousing, thought it would be a fantastic idea to gather the other two (wake, change, debooger, comb, etc. oh and feed...) and head to the early class at the YMCA this morning. Might as well get my workout in early, imagine how productive I could be after that (SUPERmom-- who never seems to materialize.....)!!
In disbelief that I didn't get a dirty diaper call until I was in the locker room naked, I gleefully dressed half-arsedly and picked up my (stinky-Tirfe, woeful-Aesa) kiddies. Headed to lunch at a bagel shop before our next outing.
Dragging uber-tired Tirfe along in a very tight and nearly abusive snowsuit, we joined Arlo at school (as promised in the wee hours of the morning when I was trying to weasle a couple more minutes of sleep out of him) for recess. It was really, really, really cold. Holy smokes, I am so not ready for whipping winds and cold. WHY do I do this to myself. I imagine it has to do with being insane. Has to. And if it does, I might as well own it and act proud of my nordic roots. Yargh. It was cold. Arlo had a hard time with the older boys who wouldn't share shovels. It's really hard to be the little guy sometimes. Lessons aplenty, but some tough knocks for a dude with only 5 years of experience.
Frozen, we head home after recess to atempt naps. No body bites. Rascals.
Back to get Arlo at 3pm, we head to Nana's to lay Tirfe down for a nap while Aesa plays and Arlo and I run some errands. Errands turn into dinner out together. Super chill, really relaxing. We are in one of our favorite restaraunts, seated right in front of the chef. The entire kitchen is open, Arlo is mesmerized. He tells the the chef is cool. He wants to work there, washing dishes for now, until he is old enough to cook with fire. He follows the chef into the bathroom and manages to order more pasta for himself while he is in there. They revel in their shared love of Bob Marley. Arlo wants to be a chef when he grows up. Hopefully the partner of the chef who served us tonight.
We head to Nana's to pick up the wee-est ones and spend a bit of play time. Aesa is a tired mess. Arlo is coming unraveled. Balloons are blown up and we manage to piece together a decent amount of fun time. Until Aesa bites it trying to run for a balloon and spits his chin on the coffee table. Poor dude.
I start loading kids (Andy is at sweat all night on Fridays...and has Tai Chi on Thursdays until late, so we are pretty frazzeled at the end of the week) littlest to biggest. Arlo bucks departure, as sometimes happens. He is not the master of transitions, not yet. After a couple extra chances to jump off the steps and show off his moves, he still protests leaving, and of course I trudge on, explaining why. He is upset, mad, defiant. He wants a new mom. Not a new Dad though. I can marry someone else, live with them and have new kids. He's staying put with Dad. This boy, who needs me so fiercely, my emotional, passonite little man- pushes me farthest when he needs me the most. His behavior towards me reflects very accurately his personal struggles, right now mostly from school. It's hard to learn how to fend for yourself and to hold all those feelings inside when you want to yell that no one is sharing. It is hard for a passonite, emotional child to balance the desire to fit in with the desire to be heard. I told him his new mom might make him eat vegetables, but he's pretty sure she won't. Hopefully tomorrow will be more 'Don't Worry 'bout a thing' and less of the rest. We'll see. Parenting this boy is such a blessing. I just hope that his teen years won't equate to his preschool years to the tenth power. please?
Oh, in the action at some point Arlo did moon me and Aesa. Really. Mooned us, appropriately (not to say it is appropriate, but his timing and execution were precise!!). He says he learned it on a cartoon. Really? Sometimes you just have to laugh, when your children are not looking... Uff da.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
One.
Baby girl is one. My baby girl is one. Can't believe it, except I am beginning to see glimmers of tantrum like attitude at times, so she must be. I love the first tantrums, or frustration storms, they are kind of cute. She lays on her back, kicks her feet and yells, then stops- shocked by the feeling of her feet hitting the floor-, she thinks for a second, and repeats. Sweet girl.
I have other clues that she is one too. Her two new choppers on top aged her face at least two months when they poked through. She's standing for prolonged periods of time, beginning to walk on fingers when coaxed. Her sense of humor is rapidly developing and her belly laughs are to die for- Tirfe loves to laugh, cocking one eyebrow in an "are you for real?" sort of way.
She had a fun and relaxing birthday at home. We made cupcackes, played outside, and grilled. It was unseasonably warm- 60 degrees a week into November. I felt like it was the universe bringing T a teensy bit of Ethiopia on her big day. The sun shining on us that day and letting us relish in warmth. It was really a perfect, relaxing day. We wanted to plant two trees on her birthday, one for her (the boys each have their own) and one for her Ethiopian family, but the nursery was closed since it was a Sunday. Hopefully we can still get them planted before the ground freezes, we'll see. Besides the cupcakes, the boys loved helping her open her gifts, and she loved watching!!
Happy Birthday K.T. Love and more love, to infinity and beyond.
Monday, November 2, 2009
The Video Shuffle
Videos are really hard to take of kids. Sheesh. Why can't they continue on doing their cute little buisiness and just act natural? Even though I miss the shot I am going for most of the time, I am commited to catching their cuteness in action regardless of what they are doing. Like, we'd really love to get video of all of Tirfe's hilarious facial expressions, or her manic head shaking when she gets going on a 'no-no' spree, or the lip pucker and nose snort that accompany her feeling of impatience when you repeatedly neglect to provide her with whatever she was hoping for from bottle to chokeable or whatever. We miss some stuff, but all in all, when I look back at what we have, I am thrilled at how my babies have grown. And that's what it's all about, just a moment in time, caught on video to savor in years to come. Enjoy!
Please ignore the messes in progress. It's a fact of life over here.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Esther and Sam
Babies. Sweet babies.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v7ZQUzr0yo
Most of my friends who have adopted from Ethiopia have already seen this video. It stays with me always. I am thankful for that, thankful for these children who haven't become just a statistic or a nameless face in the masses to me. Thankful for the safety and stability in their lives now. Sam and Esther, you are amazing little souls who have suffered so much in such a short time. May you always see the light surrounding you...
I could make a difference in so many more ways. I challenge myself to take the opportunity. Maybe NO NEW clothing/shoes for a year, and the budget goes to MSF....brainstorming here. (Not a ton of money, but definately expendible). (Just writing that makes me want to puke, priveledge is a disgusting reality).
Any more ideas?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v7ZQUzr0yo
Most of my friends who have adopted from Ethiopia have already seen this video. It stays with me always. I am thankful for that, thankful for these children who haven't become just a statistic or a nameless face in the masses to me. Thankful for the safety and stability in their lives now. Sam and Esther, you are amazing little souls who have suffered so much in such a short time. May you always see the light surrounding you...
I could make a difference in so many more ways. I challenge myself to take the opportunity. Maybe NO NEW clothing/shoes for a year, and the budget goes to MSF....brainstorming here. (Not a ton of money, but definately expendible). (Just writing that makes me want to puke, priveledge is a disgusting reality).
Any more ideas?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Baptism
Tirfe was baptised on Friday night, no pictures but it was perfect.
She was baptised by our friend, who is a Lakota spiritual leader. We are so blessed. The ceremony was amazing. It began with the lighting of the fire and giving of tobacco, so many prayers for this little girl. I learned to make frybread, a beef and rice stew, and a traditional blueberry dessert (I can't remember the Lakota names for the dishes...). While I prepared the food, with guidance from my generous and amazing teachers, my job was to think of Tirfe and how much I love her- just to put that love into the food. This food would become part of the spirit plate for the night. My mom and the boys were there, as was Andy. Andy is a doorman for this lodge and sweats every Friday.
I am aware of the struggles Tirfe may face in her future as she searches for her own unique identity. I know she will struggle with grief in her life, an aching to know more, to touch and feel what she can not remember about those who first loved her in her life. I am acutely aware that I have much to learn to parent this daughter of mine in the way that she deserves. I know that we will be working on balancing everything we want Tirfe to experience and learn so that she can build a healthy and strong self-image. That's why nights like Friday bring me to tears when I see people embracing our family and weaving such a blanket of support around us. The love and support we have been offered is something I can't put into words, it is off the charts- amazing. What an honor. This little girl has so many hands of love surrounding her and supporting her in her journey through life, she is so loved, and I am humbled. My heart is swelling with gratitude today.
Part of me is sad that we don't have pictures to document the moment, but deep down I know that this story is one we need to share orally. Pictures aren't necessary, it is in her as it is in us and we will remember it with words just the same. I depend on pictures to express my heart much too often anyhow, it is an honor to carry this story for her until she knows it.
She was baptised by our friend, who is a Lakota spiritual leader. We are so blessed. The ceremony was amazing. It began with the lighting of the fire and giving of tobacco, so many prayers for this little girl. I learned to make frybread, a beef and rice stew, and a traditional blueberry dessert (I can't remember the Lakota names for the dishes...). While I prepared the food, with guidance from my generous and amazing teachers, my job was to think of Tirfe and how much I love her- just to put that love into the food. This food would become part of the spirit plate for the night. My mom and the boys were there, as was Andy. Andy is a doorman for this lodge and sweats every Friday.
I am aware of the struggles Tirfe may face in her future as she searches for her own unique identity. I know she will struggle with grief in her life, an aching to know more, to touch and feel what she can not remember about those who first loved her in her life. I am acutely aware that I have much to learn to parent this daughter of mine in the way that she deserves. I know that we will be working on balancing everything we want Tirfe to experience and learn so that she can build a healthy and strong self-image. That's why nights like Friday bring me to tears when I see people embracing our family and weaving such a blanket of support around us. The love and support we have been offered is something I can't put into words, it is off the charts- amazing. What an honor. This little girl has so many hands of love surrounding her and supporting her in her journey through life, she is so loved, and I am humbled. My heart is swelling with gratitude today.
Part of me is sad that we don't have pictures to document the moment, but deep down I know that this story is one we need to share orally. Pictures aren't necessary, it is in her as it is in us and we will remember it with words just the same. I depend on pictures to express my heart much too often anyhow, it is an honor to carry this story for her until she knows it.
Friday, October 16, 2009
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