Leaving the Lights on

So, my sweet Andy is a sentimental man. He saged our house and the cars today with a prayer tie he made at sweat a month or two ago. He just knew it was needed, it was time. He put rescue remedy on my heel today when I was lying in bed a tad overwhelmed with everything.

My thoughts are swirling. Am I capable? Am I a whole freaking crapload better than capable? Of course not. But probably. Yes I am. Balance.

My sweet Andy usually shuts off all outdoor lights at night. Don't want to bother our ONE neighbor. It could shine in a window and keep them from sweet slumber. But, we've asked, and it doesn't. Never-the-less, the outdoor lights are not left on unless Andy is away (when all windows and doors are secured, and outdoor lights are most certainly on). UNTIL RECENTLY. Now, we leave our porch lights on. They are a strand of lights, some would call holiday lights, we refer to them as whimsy; and we leave them on, day and night on our porch, because Andy says they will help Tirfe find her way home. They are a beacon, a message, a sign, that we are alert, so aware and calling her precious soul to us. We are leaving a light on. It wasn't my idea, nothing to do with me. Intriguing, so I asked, and that was the answer I recieved: They are for Tirfe. Gentle smile, of course... I know.

Tomorrow we will leave the boys, the precious...amazing...beautiful boys, and head to Ethiopia to bring our precious, amazing, beautiful daughter home. Holy F. This is so amazing. So SO SO SO SO SO Amazing. Good god, I am meeting my daughter finally, finally, FINALLY. Girl, you are so loved. As YOU are. Who you are. Teach us about you, we are so ready to learn. Tirfe, I am absolutely sure Daddy will never turn those lights out again.

May you always know the truth and see the light surrounding you.